the cries of the seagulls
by Synesthesiae
Summary: nightmares and seagulls' cries help her realize something important.


**i.**

He tenderly reached out and touched her neck. The warmth of his hand travelled up her spine and gave her a pleasing sensation. Then he reached out another hand and grabbed her slender waist drawing her closer. Their bodies pressed against one another and as he leaned down to kiss her...

His mouth burst into flame and burned her lips.

She woke up screaming.

"C.C.!"

Lelouch had his hands on her naked shoulders with a worried look evident on his face. She could only gasp with hands covering her own mouth. Her eyes bulged.

"C.C., are you okay?" he asked concernedly.

"Yeah," she answered tremblingly. Pulling up her nightgown to cover her pale shoulders, she turned to him. "Sorry to wake you up, Lelouch. Go back to sleep. You got a long day tomorrow."

He frowned. "This has been occurring too much lately. Almost every night now you've been waking up in the middle of the night screaming and sweating. What's wrong?"

 _The Zero Requiem is what's wrong_ , she thought.

But how could she say that? How could the stone-hearted, emotionless, strong-willed and stern witch display her emotions now when they're so close to accomplishing their goals? When _he_ 's so close to accomplishing _his_ goal?

How could she be the one to stay between him and his life-long mission?

If she truly loved him like she thought she did, she could never do that. She would never.

"I'm fine," she said coldly, brushing his hands off. It hurt to be this cold toward him, especially right now when he emotionally needed her, but she couldn't show her weakness. "I'm sorry if this bothers you. Just go back to sleep."

He sighed. "C.C..." She stood up.

"Talk to me, will you?" he said. There seemed a pleading tone in his voice but she ignored it as she walked away from their bed.

"Where are you going?" he asked, puzzled, as he saw her pick up her clothes that were draped across a chair.

"I need some fresh air," she answered. Glancing back at him, she spoke softly, "Really, Lelouch, you need some sleep or you won't be able to concentrate tomorrow."

And with that, she walked out, leaving him confused and all alone.

 **ii.**

The seagulls weren't asleep tonight. Just like her.

They formed a circle on the big rock in the middle of the dark blue ocean. Even when she could only see their silhouettes against the moon's silver light, she could tell they were wide awake and sharing stories in their own language.

C.C. sighed contentedly as she sat down on the soft sand. Her bare feet lightly touched the cold and dark water. Her white dress blew softly in the wind.

It wasn't a cold night.

The seagulls were calling and crying tonight.

She closed her eyes and tried to recall her dreams.

Tonight, it had been about a lover she had almost a hundreds year ago. He was an aristocrat and they were so much in love. Somehow, she made her way into the nobility and that's how they met.

They were betrothed and were about to marry when he found out the truth about her.

He cast her away like she was nothing.

In a moment of sadness and anger and betrayal and disappointment and spontaneity, she set him on fire.

His cries echoed in her ears even now.

Just like the cries of the seagulls.

C.C. closed her eyes. The wind gently blew her long, silky green hair about. By the time she opened her bright golden orbs again, the seagulls were gone and the sun was glaring down at her.

 **iii.**

The way he kissed her mesmerized her. It sent chills down her spine and made her crave for more. Maybe that's why she was so much in love with him. He gave her the pleasures she desired.

He promised he would protect her and would always be there for her. She believed him.

She knew he had other lovers on the side but she didn't mind. Being one of the many didn't bother her because she'd outlive him.

His touches and kisses had her in so deep that when she finally woke up from the abyss, she found herself surrounded by blood.

It was everywhere. On her hands, on her legs, on her pretty dress that he'd bought for her.

Glancing around, she was completely immersed in body parts. Bloody body parts.

And she screamed.

This time, it were her soft sobs that woke him up.

"Good God, C.C. Tell me what's the matter!" There was urgency and anger to his tone but she brushed him away as he tried to get closer.

"Ignore me," she said as she pulled herself up from their bed. He reached up and grabbed her wrist, pulling her back down.

"What's the matter with you? You need to tell me what's going on right now, C.C. It's a command," he growled. Their faces were inches apart and his dark purple eyes were so intense that she had to force herself not to look away.

"Or what?" She almost chuckled drily. "You'll use Geass on me? Doesn't work on this old witch, remember?"

He sighed. His grip on her didn't ease. "Just talk to me, C.C.," he said. His voice had become softer now and this time she did look away.

"It's nothing," she mumbled.

"It's something," he said sternly. "It's not like you to be waking up in the middle of the night every night now and screaming at the top of your lungs."

"If it bothers you that much then I'll sleep in the other room," she said coldly.

He recoiled at her sharp tone.

"That's not what I meant-"

"Whatever, Lelouch," she cut him off and stood up. "I believe this is affecting you so from now on, we won't be sleeping together anymore."

"C.C.!"

"Go back to sleep. You got a long day tomorrow."

He made a hasty reach for her arm but she moved too fast.

"Oi!" He got off the bed, ready to go after her but she threw him such a dark look that he halted immediately.

"I want to be alone. Can you at least grant me that wish, Lelouch?"

He froze and she walked out. The door closed silently behind her.

 **iv.**

 _Was it about another lover tonight?_ The seagulls seemed to ask in the distance.

"Ah," she whispered. "This time, it wasn't him that I'd sinned against. Though it would've been better if it were him."

The seagulls made another cries.

C.C. put her chin on her drawn up knees. Her slender arms wrapped around her legs and she stared at the silhouette of those beautiful seagulls.

She didn't know why these memories were coming back now. She didn't know how they're still around while others had dissolved years ago. Maybe because they were those in which she had committed damnable evil. If this immortal curse had ever been lifted from her, C.C. was sure she'd be going straight to Hell.

That thought strangely comforted her. At least the nightmares would stop. At least she could repent for her sins.

Then it dawned on her. It dawned on her why Lelouch wanted the Zero Requiem to happen.

Maybe just like her, he wanted to repent, to be forgiven, even if immense, explicit torture were waiting ahead before forgiveness could be achieved.

That brought a tiny smile on her face and she closed her eyes.

The seagulls' cries echoed in the silent night.

 **v.**

She went back to the their room that night.

He looked so small sleeping alone in their king-size bed like that. The blanket was too big and he coiled into a ball as if spreading out his limbs were a crime.

She let out a small sigh before sliding into bed next to him.

He flinched slightly at her touch as she wrapped her arm around his waist.

"C.C..."

She pressed her moist lips against his back. "I apologize for what happened," she spoke softly. "I didn't mean to add more stress on you, what's with the Zero Requiem going on."

He was quiet.

She let out another sigh and was about to force herself to go back to sleep when he spoke, "I just want you to know that I'll always be there for you without exceptions. Even when I'm physically not here anymore, I want you to think of me, of us, of our times together and know that I'll spiritually be with you every step. Those nightmares you have. I've been through them. Ours are different but they're equally insufferable. And I don't want you to face them alone. C.C., you're not alone. Add me to your gallery of memories and come back to me when you don't think you can move forward anymore."

Now it was her turn to be quiet.

"C.C., I"ll be your guide like you were mine."

Little did he know she was silently crying. Her small body shook with each sobs. He probably knew but he chose to ignore it. Instead, he put his hand over hers and squeezed it tightly as if to prove his point.

As if to prove his love to her.

That night, when the blood came gushing out and the bodies piled up and the dead eyes stared blankly back at her and the corpses slowly crawled toward her, C.C. wasn't afraid anymore. She bravely faced them, faced everything because next to her was him. He stood by her side, their hands entwined. And that was enough for her to press forward.

She smiled in her sleep.

Outside, the seagulls were crying.

 **vi.**

 **-fin-**

Thank you for reading and of course reviews are greatly appreciated! I'd love to know what you guys think :)

disclaimer: I don't own Code Geass.


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